I had a friend introduce me to a new group of people, "Jill loves and accepts everyone except labels."
This statement has been rattling around in me head since. And honestly I think that explains my journey more than anything. I spent a majority of my life labeling my self and situations with the goal of being accepted. Masking was my survival mode. I took whatever I believed that label to be and killed myself to be the best at it or at least what I thought others wanted me to do while sacrificing myself and my well being.
And I never really fit in anywhere or truly accepted by very few.
My mask would fall and I'd lose respect from my friends, family, jobs, and from myself.
This magical standard in my head that if I just did X then they would like me.
The realism that it is impossible to hold myself to those standards and accepting in life that there is no right decision has been the most freeing point in my life.
Looking at my life and an outside would assume I'm miserable but I am more free than I've ever been.
Just being Jill is okay.
